mister blue sky

the grass still has its dew.

mister blue sky has his day,

its a clear bright blue morning sky,

mister blue sky,

please stay

stay till the pain is gone.

ouh its noon,

and the forest is taking a break,

because mister blue sky is here to stay.

and its getting cloudy,

ouh mister blue sky,

the pain is still here,

where do u go?

where do u hide?

and why......?

ouh mister blue sky,

its getting dark,

and you are still

no where to be seen.

ouh mister blue sky,

i hope to see you tomorrow...

because the pain will never go...

and i need you to...

make me happy..

to make me forget,

of the pain inside..

ouh mister blue sky,

i hope to see you tomorrow........

i just noticed

well, i think theres wayyy to many emo posts on my blogs, will try to post something decent and happy and retarded. just that i don't have much of ideas. lol

everyday

everyday,

when i woke up,

without hesitation,

i would go to the window,

and looked down at the yard,

where you had always waited for me,

for a fresh morning jog.

for a moment,

i really thought u were there,

patiently waiting,

while i get dressed,

but all there is, was memories.

i saw you the other day,

somehow,

i don't feel that sad anymore,

slowly,surly, and slowly,

i will move on.

u had a new haircut,

anything suits you,

well, for me at least,

this is how much i still love you. :)

we can never go back,

can we?

though,

i still wonder,

how many times,

do you want to hurt me,

until you are truly satisfied?

owh well, maybe never huh?

haha, i don't really care,

i mean i still do,

but as much as before.

i need to live my life,

be grateful,

because there are so many things i can do,

other than mourning over you, hee.

but, i do love you,

no matter how much i will get hurt by doing so,

i do :)

and i wish nothing,

nothing but the best for you,

my used to be, best friend,

my almost lover,

my reason for everything.

distance

the school's bell rangs,

it was already near nightfall,

people rushed out of the classroom,

and soon,

the hall was crowded with students,

but i kept my pace slow,

theres no rush,

theres nothing to catch to,

theres nothing to look forward for,

as you were everything for me,

i walked slowly,

kept looking at the rough naked cement floor,

i was sure most of the students would be gone by now,

whilst walking along the corridor,

i turned to see the sunset,

its a wonderful sight,

and i was soon bring to reality when a flock of birds flew above me,

they looked, somehow free, from the clucth of the world.

suddently,

u came from the other corner,

and i frooze,i do not know why,

but...

my heart was filled with emotions,

anger,sadness and confusion,

of course, you would act as if i was not there,

and it aches me,

knowing that,

how we used to be,

a big strong friendship tree,

now turned into dust.

you passed me by,

without even looking at me,

but what did i expect?

you do not want anything to do with me anymore,

it is over,

and im trying to accept it,

hard.

i wished i realized it then,

that you were controlling me,

well, i did have doubts,

but i was afraid,

of the thrth,

becuase i was really happy,

back then,

i still am, if i think it back,

i know it would not last long,

it was just impossible,

we were torn by the world we live in.

we live in two different reality,

but still, i still hope for it,

to happen.

but i kept walking alone,

in the hall,

the corridor lights were on,

it was getting darker,

with the heart as heavy as iron,

i heaved myself not to give up.

i will try,

and we shall see how long i will last,

until i am lost.

forever.

i pray to god for wisdom to get through this, because if i pray for strength, i would kill you.

you are the missing piece of my jigsaw puzzle,

that i thought was missing forever,

but u didnt fit well,

but its okee,

as long my puzzle is complete,

im more than happy,

so i glued u on the the puzzle,

so that you wont fall off,

but u did,

and now your missing again,

probably forever,

i will keep searching for you,

although one day,

you might fit other's,

perfectly,

now, i dun think,

my puzzle has the perfect fit,

maybe they made it wrong,

maybe, i will be lost forever,

maybe,i was just a big mistake,

maybe, i should have died,

maybe, i just love you  too much...

i hate mine, do you?

they started the war,

and now they are blaming me for being offensive,

funny isn't it?

how stupid a sister could be,

how ignorant a mother could be,

as a family, we are not close,

being the youngest,

differences of 6,12 and 14 years,

they know nothing about me,

nothing what so ever,

i would never share with them anything,

because i never did,

and now they want to be nossy,

well,

guess what?

FUCK YOU!

seriously, 

u dont know my situation,

internet is the only thing i have left,

apart from all of the sadness,anger, and confusion,

and u want to take it away from me?

WRONG MOVE,

and now im pissed,

fucking pissed,

i will fucking leave the house if i need to,

seriously,

u dont know how much hatred i have for you.

so now, i will not be talking to you,

maybe forever,

most probably forever.

my house,

is not my home

you thought

u left me,

not for the first,

not for the second,

but for the third time,

u thought i would cry,

u thought i would die,

u thought i would tripped,

u thought i would fall,

like the previous mischiefful event,

well i did,

i was at the very bottom,

alone,

in the dark,

alone,

hoping for you to come back,

but the light never came,

the light that i was hoping for so long,

your light.

but,i made my own,

because i knew,

i had to move on,

because i knew,

u wouldn't care,

because i knew,

u wouldn't be there.

i lost count,

of how many days,

i was in the dark,

that felt like an eternity,

but here i am,

standing tall,

i have stop burrying my face in the pillow,

i have stop hoping,

you destroyed it,

my hope that is,

i will thrives from all of this confusion,

and you will see,

without you,

i wont fade away,

there will be green,

in what u left for dead,

but i will still remember,

u were the reason,

i breathe,

i sleep,

i eat,

i smile,

but it is all gone now,

its over,

we cant go back,

u wouldnt want to,

but i cant see the reason,

of your action,

and i know you will never tell me,

you will regret one day,

i give you my word for that.

but i know, deep inside, i still love u..

parents

well, i planned to make this blog a little controversial, first off, i'll be starting with our beloved parents

 if u seriously want to have children of your own one day, regardless if you are  married or not, i have a few things for u to keep in mind.

first of all, MAKE SURE YOU ARE COMMITTED TO MAKE SOME SACRIFICES FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!, u see, if ur 50 right, and your children is 17, and they just want to have some fun with their friend, DO NOT LIMIT THEM! i mean, its okee to do so, but not too much, seriously, your children need to socialize, or they will end up being an anti-socialist, like myself, but im trying to make a change here, so fuck off and if they ask u to send them please do, i mean, okee, if u want to have children, what do you expect? seriously, we children have our own rights too u know, if you are not keen to committing such sacrifices, then it is better for you not to have children, u will just making their life miserable.(mine -_-)

i mean, have some boundaries, dont let them go out every single day, but occasionally, they need to have fun, say, at least is 2 weeks in a time?

and if u can afford, give them money, i mean, if u earn around RM30k monthly, would a RM1000 hurt every two weeks? well it is actually lol, okee fine, RM1000 a month. Didnt u wish you would love to get that lots of money from your parents when u were at their age? well? i mean if your parents can afford to. but im no expert, im just voicing out my opinions.

a new page

heh, i must say, i got bored of the old blog, lol

and yes, the background is still black, haha,

i'll post new things when i have it in my head,

but for now, goodbye.